Carter's Little Pill

Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)

2008-08-15T23:01:00.001-04:00

You haven't actually done me wrong, but I am gone, gone, gone to another blog, blog, blog.

Gone gone gone (Done moved on)

2008-08-03T21:16:00.000-04:00

Please toddle along to my new space.

I'm moving out

2008-07-26T11:09:00.002-04:00

I have a new, shiny, internet home: http://www.juliecarter.net

Do you sometimes get the feeling...

2008-07-23T18:42:00.000-04:00

... certain words don't mean the same thing to you as they do to others? Case in point, the web link to the "Vatican Secret Archive."

Because the first thing I do when I have a secret archive is link to it.

Linebreak

2008-07-22T13:22:00.000-04:00

I don't have a poem up at Linebreak, but I was the reader for the poem this week.

It's a neat pub, so go look.

Rise and shine and shoot me with gunsie, gunsies!

2008-07-17T10:43:00.002-04:00

My childhood was marred by a song. The rise and shine song.

My parents thought it was hilarious to wake their children with the rise and shine song.

As the years passed, the song has become something of a family legend, and each subsequent generation is again tormented with it.

A couple of days ago, my niece sent me an email with a lyric from the song in the title. I've been singing it ever since.

And in the spirit of giving, I sang the song to a coworker who has also been singing it ever since.

Behold, it is "Rise and Shine":

Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory
Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory
Rise and shine and *clap* give God the glory, glory
Children of the Lord!

God said to Noah there will be a floody, floody
God said to Noah there will be a floody, floody
Keep your children *clap* out of the muddy, muddy
Children of the Lord!

Then God ordered Noah to build him an arky, arky
God ordered Noah to build him an arky, arky
Build it out of *clap* hickory barky, barky
Children of the Lord!

Look it up. Hear the melody. You, too, will be caught in its spell.

You know you're hooked on a salad dressing when...

2008-07-16T23:43:00.001-04:00

... you buy it by the case.

I can't heeellllp it! For some reason, Marzetti's Fat Free Italian Dressing isn't available locally any longer. So I'm going straight to the source of this veritable crack of salad dressings.

My problem is I don't like sweet dressings and I don't like oily dressings. Which leaves me with Marzetti or air. And air is boring.

Two great tastes that taste great together!

2008-07-13T00:16:00.001-04:00

People should be hooked to batteries that recharge with any leftover energy after they eat.

Thereby providing a green energy source and weight management all in one!

"Honey, I need an empty battery. I'm going to eat a pie."

I'm apparently feeling self-destructive today

2008-07-12T21:34:00.001-04:00

We're having a bit of a fruitfly problem on occasion. I think maybe we need to put the apples in the fridge.

I felt something on my hand, glanced and saw a dark spot, then smacked my hand. WHAM! OW! CRAP!

The dark spot was a scab. I was out pruning the rose bushes earlier today, and roses like to prune back.

Fortunately, Steve wasn't in the room.

Unfortunately, I felt the need to share my awesome stupidity with him and with YOU!

The Mystery of the Missing Bed

2008-07-12T15:20:00.002-04:00

The drama continues. It isn't anywhere, yet it has to be somewhere.

Bed pixies? Magical wood-dissolving powder? Really big termites with a taste for footboards?

I've angered a furniture god.

Some people lose keys or socks

2008-07-11T21:43:00.002-04:00

I've lost a BED.

It's not like I have a house with 394 rooms and hidden passages and people named Lurch who might enjoy hiding a bed behind the secret staircase or something!

In my defense, the bed isn't assembled. Losing an assembled bed would be slightly worse.

Still, how does one say to one's sister, "O sister, I would like to return the bed unto you but, um, I lost it"?

She already thinks I'm deeply troubled. O sister, you are so, so right.

It's the GOP one-armed bandito!

2008-07-11T20:30:00.004-04:00

So far, I'm at $212. Vegas fears me!

Edit: Right after I posted, I hit spin again and am now at $231. FEAR!

Edit2: And right after I edited, I hit spin again and am now at $390. Bow before me!

Edit3: Um, $401. Even I fear me and my mad skillz.

If you have Firefox

2008-07-10T19:03:00.000-04:00

... get the Interclue add-on. It simply rocks. Youbetcha.

Fatigue and Poetry Crossroads

2008-07-09T10:48:00.002-04:00

I've not been online in the past couple of weeks as much as usual, so I haven't been doing any updates to the Crossroads. Unfortunately, neither has anyone else except attempted Bulgarian spammers. I'm afraid this idea is either before, or after, its time.

So, I'm probably shutting it down. It's not doing anyone any good as it is, and keeping the spammers off is just a pain. If I were in a better mood, I might have a different reaction but I'm not.

Speaking of Bulgarian spammers: Jeez Louise those people are stupid.

Bertram is murmuring

2008-07-07T15:04:00.002-04:00

We adopted Bertram the Very Fuzzy Cat hoping that we could end our long streak of nothing-but-bad-news.

Instead, we are told that Bertram has a significant heart murmur. It could be nothing serious, or it could be a sign of something very bad like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy--a disease we've already dealt with in one cat.

Suck.

But what does it MEAN?

2008-07-01T21:10:00.001-04:00

I have no IDEA.

Someone's auto-correct is a wee bit embarrassing

2008-06-30T23:44:00.000-04:00

"Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials."

Tyson Homosexual, that is.

Clever for its own sake

2008-06-30T13:04:00.002-04:00

One of the things I tend to dislike so intensely about "light" verse is its sense that the writer is being clever for the sake of being clever.

Which means that it's just about the worst thing someone can say to me about my own poetry.

And then someone did.

Ouch.

I'll be in the corner, licking my wounds.

Gotta new widget

2008-06-27T16:02:00.000-04:00

A stranger invited me to join Adoptic. It's a site for blog promotion and what can I say? I'm a joiner.

Look over to the left for a snippet from someone else's blog. Maybe someday they will create a poetry section for poet bloggers.

I don't care if it makes me a dork

2008-06-27T10:35:00.000-04:00

Wall-E is the cutest thing ever. EVER.

The storm

2008-06-26T10:43:00.001-04:00

An extremely loud storm hit last night, keeping me awake for hours. As it was winding down, Steve discovered that his blood sugar was dangerously low, so we sat up and listened to the storm while Steve ate saltwater taffy and checked his blood glucose at intervals.

We live fun and exciting lives and don't you forget it!

I think I scared the coworkers

2008-06-23T14:41:00.002-04:00

My laughter rang through the halls when I saw this.

Check out the picture in the middle.

One of my coworkers usually ends up in Wal-Mart only after going to church. She's obviously raising the tone there like CRAZY.

How do I love Chase? Let me count the ways

2008-06-23T11:49:00.000-04:00

Chase took two car payments from my bank account instead of one, and when I complained, they disabled my ability to do anything with my bank account online.

Thanks, Chase. This is a plan that is sure to make me love you and want desperately to give you money.

Nearing the end of stage 2

2008-06-23T11:14:00.002-04:00

The Carter fambly is now within $400 of being out of the Medicare Part D doughnut hole. If you don't know what the doughnut hole is, do yourself a favor and read about it.

Steve and I have been able to afford this gap in his coverage, but how many seniors and disabled people can say the same?

The "True Out of Pocket" limit for this year is $4050.

Hold this government accountable.

The car, the car, the car

2008-06-23T10:42:00.000-04:00

Someone broke into my car last night. I don't know that anything is missing, but the door was open this morning. Everything was spilled from the glovebox and the console door wouldn't close.

Never let anyone tell you nice things about small towns. Never.

Political humor in unexpected places

2008-06-20T23:45:00.003-04:00

Steve and I were playing Lord of the Rings Online last night and we got a quest to kill some monsters. I said, "You wanna help me kill some ugly wights?"

Suddenly, I could picture a video of Michelle Obama playing an MMORPG saying the same thing and it being plastered all over Fox News.

The difficulty in writing poetry reviews

2008-06-20T12:03:00.003-04:00

I'm tempted by a site that offers poetry books for review. It would be a good way, I think, to force me to produce a review, if it were a condition of receiving the book.

But what to do, what to do, if the book is a stinker? What if, for example, the book had been Mark Strand's Man and Camel that I was struggling to comment on for NaPoReMo (not a stinker, but not to my taste, either)? Mark Strand doesn't care what I think, but a younger, less-established poet certainly might.

Even doing WEE reviews, I'd occasionally hurt feelings. Not liking, and saying I didn't like, a single poem was enough to cause a ripple of reaction a couple of times in the blogosphere. Part of me says tough. Poets who can't take a bad review are too precious to publish anything. Another part of me understands that with all of the poetry out there in the world it should be possible only to review the good stuff. And a third part wants to sleep in and let other people worry about it.

The cry of the intellectually lazy: It's not my problem!

In any case, if you like reviewing books of poetry, check out this link to the Experimental Fiction & Poetry Reviews blog. Score a free book. Write a good review. Make the poetry world one increment better.

Firefox 3 is made of wonder

2008-06-17T20:18:00.001-04:00

Like "I wonder how I survived without Firefox 3."

Neat site if you're into election numbers

2008-06-16T16:18:00.002-04:00

Five Thirty Eight is an interesting site if you enjoy looking at presidential polling data and reasonable extrapolations.

This could be a very interesting election. I should be spending election day as a poll worker for my county. Whee.

What a lovely way to start my day

2008-06-16T13:30:00.002-04:00

With a letter from the bank saying that I am overdrawn.

It turns out that my last car payment came through twice, which put me into the red and which Chase says simply isn't their problem.

I hate Chase.

Just for the record.

Grr.

Sick as dog

2008-06-15T15:55:00.000-04:00

Correct that: Sick as SICK dog.

Bleargh.

The death of Tim Russert

2008-06-13T15:59:00.002-04:00

I just heard about the death of Tim Russert.

He was one of the best, and the coming elections will be even harder to navigate without his firm, clear voice.

Suck.

For those who own your own domains

2008-06-13T09:18:00.001-04:00

Do you like who you have hosting it?

Do you know anything about Hands-on Web Hosting?

The cogitation why the mohair

2008-06-12T18:44:00.002-04:00

The cogitation why the mohair

At the last sink the lady
overran the sink by pints. The lady
in kneehighs, towel, a blank bandana.

As the last sink spurted, she called,
"You stop it! Low dames are mohair.
Why? So low mohair."

It almost made sense to me at the first
sink. It almost made sense at the time.

And for the record

2008-06-12T00:16:00.003-04:00

My pants may be big, but they are not elastic.

I do have some standards.

No, that's a lie. I really don't have standards. It's through no actual design of my own that the pants aren't 100% elastic 100% of the time.

The strange things that pop into your head

2008-06-12T00:08:00.003-04:00

When I was a kid, my dad called all of his children "punkins," generally, but when he was in a particularly goofy mood, we morphed, each in turn, into "Chief Wampum Big Elastic Pants."

I just said it out loud, without even remembering that I remembered it. Or without knowing what in the heck it means.

Mom said she kept having the weird feeling that Dad's ghost was hanging around in her car. Maybe I'll ask her to ask him.

Help!

2008-06-11T22:47:00.002-04:00

Is it hard to put up a website nowadays? Something that doesn't look, say, like this?

Because I want one, but am askeert of my own inability to, well, make one.

Some stats on Poetry Crossroads

2008-06-11T20:36:00.003-04:00

It's not a barnburner, but traffic seems to be fairly steady at between 75-100 hits per day.

As a reminder, new posters can sign up now. If you've tried before and ran into problems, please try again. I'll give you a nickel.

Does my sister know what she's getting herself into?

2008-06-11T18:14:00.003-04:00

She's doing a garage sale and asked me if I have any books I'd like to get rid of.

Um.

Yes.

How big is your garage, sis?

In 2008, I've already given over two hundred books to Goodwill. So far, I've collected about twice that for the garage sale. I've been working for about ten minutes.

I think I need a bigger car.

Upon the Strand

2008-06-10T21:26:00.000-04:00

The title poem, "Man and Camel" goes back to that interesting, talk-talk, quiet poeticism, the end.

On the plus side, this has my favorite ending to date.

On the minus side, it doesn't do much up to that point.

The wonder of their singing,
its elusive blend of man and camel, seemed
an ideal image for all uncommon couples.

Yes, but I don't hear it. I don't feel it. He says it, but I don't believe it. I don't trust the poem, and I'm a pretty damned trusting soul.

On top of everything, I'll admit that I expected a political aspect. The title pointed that direction for me. I don't demand poems be political, but I was rather hoping for something I could sink my teeth into. I'd settle for camel chow.

A day in the life of Bertram

2008-06-10T20:31:00.004-04:00

Steve dropped a couple of packing peanuts. Joy! Delight! Bertram was filled with glee.

He grabbed a peanut and started to chew on it with vigorous squeakings.

But it wasn't the peanut that was squeaking a moment later, but Bertram. His teeth pierced the peanut and the peanut WOULDN'T LET GO!

Despair! Horror! Agony!

He's better now, but I think I wrenched something laughing at the poor beastie.

More Strand

2008-06-10T20:28:00.002-04:00

There are certain poets you don't think of in the same breath (think?) as other poets. Mark Strand and Emily Dickinson are two I wouldn't normally juxtapose, yet when Strand starts a poem

I am not thinking of Death, but Death is thinking of me

I think it's inevitable. It's not a flattering comparison for Strand. Of course, few can withstand being compared to that particular poem.

Death in "2002" is a smug dude, but no more smug than the speaker who envisions crowds with "delirious cries" welcoming him into death.

I think it possible that one person would welcome my death with delirious cries. The rest might fall asleep and drool on my obituary.

As I continue through the book, my frustration grows. I can't get beneath the surface of these poems, making me think there might not be anything but surface. And the surface seems to have WD-40 on it, refusing to let anything catch or squeak or grind.

More on "Man and Camel"

2008-06-10T20:25:00.001-04:00

Man and Camel by Mark Strand

"Two Horses" breaks the pattern (but the pattern will reassert itself later) of interest, talk-talk, quiet, the end.

Sadly, it replaces it with talk-talk, talk-talk, talk-talk, the end.

This poem simply never gets going.

On a warm night in June
I went to the lake, got on all fours
and drank like an animal.

I dunno. There really isn't much there to tug a person into the world of the poem.

A few lines later, Strand writes:

Then I thought they might have
known me
in another life--the one in which I was a poet.

Does Strand have a sense that his skills are dwindling? Perhaps this flat affect is the most such a prosaic poet can bring to bear on the topic.

Terrorist Fist Jab

2008-06-10T18:51:00.001-04:00

Really, FOX? REALLY?

Sometimes, I'm embarrassed to be the same species as some of these people.

I consider that a challenge

2008-06-09T15:15:00.002-04:00

Christine Klocek-Lim has started a new blog about editing the pub Autumn Sky. She comments:

The imagery has to be original. None of this: "her eyes were as lovely as sapphires" or this: "his trousers were as brown as mud."

I know a challenge when I read one.

Account creation working at Poetry Crossroads

2008-06-06T09:19:00.003-04:00

You can now create a new account at Poetry Crossroads. I had to do a stupid workaround, but it does seem to be working.

However, if you tried to register in the last two weeks, you'll have to sign up again. My apologies for the stupid software.

Putting things in perspective

2008-06-05T22:48:00.003-04:00

When Steve and I got married, our total income was $18,000 per year, which mine trusty mental calculatorial skill tells me is $1500 per month.

We paid that much in May for his prescription medications.

I know we're better off than many. I won't forget that, ever. That realization doesn't make it more fun.

And having 50% of Americans assume that I'm going so deeply into debt because of a flaw in my character doesn't make it any more fun, either.

Salsafied Turkey Burgers

2008-06-05T20:51:00.004-04:00

I haven't done any experimental cooking in a while, but I was in the mood tonight, so I came up with:

Salsafied Turkey Burgers

Ingredients:

a clump of ground turkey
a gob of salsa
a pile of oats
a glug of some sort of oil
a dash of other optional stuff
your choice of things to go with this thing

Take a clump of ground turkey. I used the 93/7 kind because it was on sale and I love the non-greasy texture. Add a few tablespoons of a flavorful salsa. I picked a pineapple salsa thinking it wouldn't overpower the turkey, and it was pretty spiffy.

Mix with your hands, but take your rings off first. I never remember. My poor ring.

Add enough oats so that the mixture can be formed into a patty or patties that don't crumble or ooze in your fingers. Also add some pepper and maybe a dab of salt (I prefer to add salt after cooking), and if you're one of the lucky ones who both like and have fresh cilantro, throw that in. Unless you think cilantro tastes like soap. That'd be bad.

Fry in a frying pan with olive oil or Smart Balance (my preference). Use a thermometer. Make it crunchy brown because that's awesome.

Place on bread of your choice with a dollop of light sour cream and a splash of hot sauce, or slices of avocado and tomato, or a teaspoon of blue cheese dressing, or a slice of cheese, or a spritz of a vinaigrette, or (if you're like me) place on bread with a sprinkle of salt and a burst of freshly ground pepper because you don't have those other ingredients and you're hungry and wouldn't want to fix them anyway.

Or crumble over a bed of romaine with tomato, chopped egg, and avocado (which I also don't have).

Eat.

Measures are approximate since salsas vary in amount of liquid and since I never measure when I'm doing experimental cooking. If I knew how much it would take, it wouldn't be experimental, would it? That's half the fun! Twice the chaos! The whole point!

If you have a favorite meatloaf or meatball recipe, consult that.

I had to stop following the primaries

2008-06-03T21:07:00.001-04:00

It was meaning too much to me.

Obama is the nominee. I can't believe it. Just wow.

NaPoReMo #2

2008-06-03T20:28:00.002-04:00

As a child, I was an insomniac. I would lie awake for hours after my purported bed time, and stare at the ceiling. Nothing helped me sleep except "Blizzard"--a game I played that pitted my brain against my skin.

I was lost. Lost in a blizzard. It was cold. I was cold. How long could I go without a blanket?

I Had Been a Polar Explorer

I had been a polar explorer in my youth
and spent countless days and nights freezing
in one blank place and then another.

Of course I had to read this poem, no matter if the speaker's explorations were real while mine were the product of sleep deprivation and sheer weirdness. There was a kinship.

"I Had Been a Polar Explorer" is the second poem in Man and Camel, and it continues the same quiet, casual tone as the first poem. Unfortunately, I continue not being very excited. It's too soon to say there's a pattern but, well, by god there's a pattern.

Say something a little interesting, but not truly vivid. Talk a little about it. Finish with something a little poetic but quiet. The end.

There is, so far, a coldness, a distance with Strand's poems, as if the polar ice is a thin crust. You can see flesh underneath, but you can't quite feel it.

But when I raised my hand to say hello,
he took a step back, turned away, and started to fade
as longing fades until nothing is left of it.

The fading out of longing, of passion, is the fading away of opportunity as well. It's the slow loss of imagination, of lying awake playing games that look like dreams.

Things I need to say

2008-06-03T18:42:00.002-04:00

I'm not a fan of Hillary Clinton. But I identify with her.

Identity is a powerful thing, and it's not always rational or explainable. We're both women, and both white. Both of us keep our hair pretty short. We're both married to men who can be a bit embarrassing (sorry, Steve). We both like politics, though to such different degrees that it becomes something we don't have in common at all.

I thought she would win the nomination. So did she. I'm not disappointed to be wrong, but I can feel, fundamentally, her disappointment.

So today's happy outcome is tempered with a huge amount of sympathy from me.

Hillary Clinton, you're one hell of a trouper.

NaPoReMo #1

2008-06-02T21:00:00.002-04:00

Late start, but better late than never, eh?

My book is Man and Camel, by Mark Strand. This isn't a book I likely would have chosen if I had all the time and resources in the world. I would have preferred a longer book, by a younger author, and likely would have picked someone unknown.

I would also like a pony.

The first poem in the book is "The King." It's a brief, rather prosey opener, with a predominance of dialog.

I tend away from dialog in poems. I tend away from many things that strike me as more suited to prose (though a lack of linebreaks really isn't among them). Dialog that defies reality, what a person, any person, would ever say, feels irredeemably pretentious. Yet dialog that aligns with reality feels irredeemably dull.

When I think about most of the tools of prose and most of the tools of poetry, though I acknowledge that the distinction I'm making is not in service of the writing at all.

I divide things into categories not because they require it but because it makes things easier for me to understand.

It doesn't help that I picture the King of the poem rather like a Monchichi-sized Burger King "tiny in his jeweled crown and his cape/with ermine trim."

The poem is casual, conversational. Neither sleek nor biting (Strand uses a weasel, so can I). But it's not offputting, either, and it doesn't take four pages to come to the same conclusion.

D'oh! It's June!

2008-06-02T16:57:00.001-04:00

Soooo, guess who forgot it was time for NaPoReMo? If you guessed "Julie Carter, slacker and malcontent" you'd be right!

I'm going to slink off to start my Mark Strand book, now.

New Anti-

2008-06-01T18:42:00.001-04:00

It's an abundance of riches today. Anti- #2 is online!

Featured and fairly funny?

2008-06-01T10:07:00.004-04:00

That's me!

I am the featured poet at Avatar Review 10 which is now up. Lots of quality poets in the issue, and they took "Fork," which is a poem I feel very passionate about.

And I have two pieces, well, one and a half, in the 2008 Bumbershoot, which is also now up, alongside Umbrella. I haven't had a chance to look at Umbrella, but I bet it's lovely because it always is.

A tempting challenge or a waste of time?

2008-05-29T12:49:00.003-04:00

Duotrope has a list of markets who have no acceptances on file.

The most submissions without an acceptance is 150, for jubilat.

Do you see a list like that and think, "Aha! A challenge!" or do you think "Moving on, now. Not wasting my time there"?

ETA: Hey! I'm in one of those mags. Now I feel all special and glowy.

Frustrated with Poetry Crossroads

2008-05-29T10:53:00.002-04:00

(Why did I name it Poetry Crossroads when I always want to type "Poetry Crossing"?)

In any case, people still can't join and there has been no word whatsoever from the so called "support" for the forum.

I could move it to another host. That's kind of a pain considering how many links I left various places, though it's probably easier to move it now than to wait until there's real activity.

Bah.

Humbug.

NaPoReMo DoSiDo

2008-05-27T19:42:00.002-04:00

I can't buy a book before June, but I'm getting Mark Strand's "Man and Camel" from the library. I would have preferred something from 2008 and from a poet no one has heard of, but I won't be near a book store for ages and I've already read all the poetry books I've got.

I plan on downloading Jilly Dybka's "Trouble And Honey" as well, but I don't know if Jilly wants to be blogged about incessantly!

A note on fonts

2008-05-27T11:53:00.004-04:00

I just read a book that used an unusual font, a sans-serif one like this in an overly large size.

It made the book very hard to read. I wouldn't have thought it would make that big a deal, but it did. It didn't help that it wasn't a particularly good book to begin with, but it's interesting to feel the effects of font selection on my reading attitude.

Online, fonts don't matter all that much to me, but in print, they matter. A lot.

Poetry Crossroads having some software issues

2008-05-26T23:16:00.002-04:00

I hope it's just temporary. They claim to be doing some upgrades, so Poetry Crossroads is very wonky right now.

Many thanks to the people who have dropped me notes about it. It's helping me to know how extensive (VERY!) the problems are.

So, joining the Crossroads is impossible right now. On occasion, seeing the Crossroads is impossible! Eek!

NaPoReMo in June

2008-05-26T23:07:00.002-04:00

PFFA is starting a new tradition: NaPoReMo, National Poetry Reading Month.

Buy a book of poetry by a poet you're unfamiliar with.

Spend the month reading and doing daily posts about the poems.

I love this idea but probably can't buy a book in time to play along. I live on the back end of beyond.

Zagnut thief!

2008-05-25T20:16:00.002-04:00

I left a Zagnut on my desk. I was saving it.

Bertram ate it.

What cat likes peanut butter and coconut? That fuzzy head is filled with weird.

Take a green Froot Loop, dunk it in salt water...

2008-05-23T11:44:00.000-04:00

Smoosh it onto a salty corn chip, and you have the new Doritos mystery flavor.

I think it's supposed to be a margarita. It's horrifying.

Dragging today

2008-05-23T10:31:00.002-04:00

We went to a double feature at the drive in last night: Indiana Jones and Iron Man.

Lots of fun. Iron Man is a better movie, but holy smokes it was late when we got home.

I can hardly keep my eyes open.

Do you remember?

2008-05-22T12:27:00.002-04:00

If you see a poet's name, do you immediately remember what sort of work they write?

Or, like me, do you have general ideas of "Oh, I like her" or "He's had some really good work"?

I ask because I was thinking about metrical poetry the other day and a couple of names came to mind but I couldn't remember if they wrote formal work or not. Why can't I remember? Is it a distinction my brain has no interest in?

Suspicious minds

2008-05-22T10:40:00.002-04:00

Eratosphere goes down again after people start talking about a certain neo-Nazi. Coincidence?

When does "limited to" become "limited by"?

2008-05-19T15:17:00.003-04:00

There are lots of poetry journals and contests that limit submissions in some way. Women only, or formal/free verse work only, or only sonnets, or only poems about nature.

I've come to terms with most of these. I've submitted work to "Mezzo Cammin" (though my submission was never acknowledged in any way, despite queries). I'm planning on sending work to "Unsplendid." I'm not completely thrilled with the limits, but I can live with them.

But when I saw that one journal will only accept subs from people who are students, alumns, or faculty of graduate writing programs, I became immediately depressed. And my reaction probably isn't fair.

Am I daunted just because that knocks me out of the running? I can't say absolutely not, but I don't think so. They weren't a journal I was planning to submit to, and I think their policy is unusual enough that it doesn't affect me.

What, then? Does this policy show:

1. fear: We are afraid the non-MFA writers might outcompete the MFAs. (Not likely)

2. bias: We don't like non-MFAs.

3. cynicism/realism: We won't end up publishing anything not written by an MFA anyway, so why waste our time?

4. promotion: Look what MFAs can do!

5. or just special attention/dedicated facilities: MFA writers wouldn't have their own dedicated forum without us.

I'm not okay with reason 1, completely okay with reasons 4 and 5, and on the fence with reasons 2 and 3. 2, 3, and 4 are the reasons that strike me as most likely. (1 is crazy the way only I can think of and 5 is usually the reasoning for more discriminated-against groups).

So, you have your MFA. Would you submit work there?

(Also posted to Poetry Crossroads, if you'd rather participate there.)

Fabulous poem

2008-05-19T11:27:00.001-04:00

Kathleen Rooney is the current featured poet at Anti-, and her poem "Midwestern Groom: Dream no. 2" knocks my socks off.

Give it a read.

The Anti-Julie

2008-05-17T19:03:00.002-04:00

I've joined the editorial team at Anti- as an assistant editor. It's great to be able to work for a journal I admire so much.

The julainnet

2008-05-16T12:49:00.002-04:00

In April I commented on the invention of the julainnelle and suggested that a julainnet would be a neat form.

Someone has definitely proved the form has promise here.

I'm taken with it.

Poetic mimicry

2008-05-16T12:18:00.003-04:00

Nic on Very Like a Whale linked to an interesting take at Harriet on attempting to sound like other writers.

My reply on Harriet:

I never thought of it in terms of karaoke, but you're right. It's a good comparison.

Only by trying what someone else does do you discover how hard (or easy) it is to do. You get to hear what you sound like when you employ the same tricks, since you won't sound like the original no matter how you try.

Tomorrow I may disagree with this, but today? I'm all over it.

Poetry Crossroads update

2008-05-15T16:49:00.003-04:00

Poetry Crossroads is growing, slowly.

I've been adding a few forums to allow people to post and find information easily.

If anyone has suggestions, let me know. Up to and including telling me to jump in a lake--proverbial or otherwise.

If you have a magazine or read one or subscribe to one or submit to one, you have something to say to the rest of us.

If you've been accepted or rejected or befuddled or are otherwise thinking about publication, you have something to say.

If you've read a poem in your LIFE, you have something to say.

So come say it!

On the lighter side

2008-05-13T19:51:00.000-04:00

Poetry: The Hits

Xanadu!
Kubla Khan!
Take drugs much?

***

Death
AND Immortality?
Not much footroom.

***

Wow,
that's a
ton of ships.

Achilles
versus Hector.
The crybaby won.

Vietnam
with swords
and giant horses.

***

She'll
forget you.
But not yet.

***

Mouse
or man.
Life likes surprises.

***

Donne
offers candy
from his van.

***

Lippo
sounds like
awful plastic surgery.

Monks
visit hookers
then talk forever.

***

Goblins
say "Buy."
That ain't fruit.

***

Chickens.
Red wheelbarrow.
Something about Depends.

Poetry Crossroads

2008-05-13T13:05:00.007-04:00

I've started a forum just for poetry news and discussion. It will allow poets and editors to announce their projects or publications, call for submissions, and talk about poetry: Poetry Crossroads

It is not a poetry workshop. At all. None. Nada. Everything else poetry-related is fair game.

So, announce something. Advertise your board. Bitch about a magazine. Praise an editor. Promote your blog. Share your database of journals.

Just don't post your poems or I'll zap 'em.

And I kick puppies, too!

2008-05-12T19:40:00.003-04:00

One of the posts that gets a lot of hits long after I posted it is titled "No rhyming poems please."

The latest comment is a tad on the bizarre side if it's addressed to me.

Though I really don't like Kipling. I'll admit to that one. And I can't claim to have read many rhyming poems by Robert Browning, though I may be blocking them out after my bad run ins with Fra' Lippo Lippi. The bastard.

More Bertram

2008-05-12T18:53:00.002-04:00

Because he's sitting on my desk and I had my camera.

What do you want from a critique?

2008-05-12T17:01:00.002-04:00

More discussion going on at Gazebo about critiquing, which makes me wonder: What do you really want from a critique?

For me, I just want to know if it's working. Honestly, I don't even usually care why or why not.

What do I not want? Well, something that drives me crazy is a long, detailed, blow-by-blow critique that makes a wrong assumption from the outset, meaning the person went to a lot of trouble for nothing. This doesn't happen often, but I've seen it a few times. There's nothing you can say at that point, as the poet, to make it better. All you can do is say "Thanks!" or "Actually, this isn't about the Russian Revolution, so the 15,000 word essay you just wrote doesn't really apply. It was nice reading it, though!"

On one very small board I frequent, I love the give-and-take of poet and critter. It allows the discussion to move gradually while each issue is hammered out. That's probably not possible on a larger board, but it's my ideal. I can say a lot of things about a poem, but if I've got hold of the wrong end of the stick from the get-go, the things I say aren't going to be useful.

So, what are you looking for?

Blackbird reading loop

2008-05-12T15:15:00.003-04:00

Sandra Beasley and Jehanne Dubrow are both featured in Blackbird's Introductions. I haven't had a chance to take a look yet, but both of these women have produced excellent work in the past. Check it out!

What counts as a "personal rejection"?

2008-05-12T13:44:00.002-04:00

On Duotrope, if you get a poem rejected, they want to know what sort of rejection. Was it form? Was it personal?

Steven Schroeder has a post on his blog that talks about form and personal rejections, too, which is what got me thinking about this today.

My problem is that I'm not entirely sure what these terms mean. I mean, I know what a form letter is. But at what point does a rejection make the switch over to "personal"?

If it's not cut and pasted, but doesn't actually have any specific reference to your work, is it form? If it's addressed to "Dear (your name)" does that make it personal? If it encourages you to submit again?

Examples culled from rejections I have received:

Poet,

We will not be publishing any of the submitted poems.

The Editors

Dear Julie,

Thank you for submitting to Journal X. Sadly, we will not be using any of your work for the upcoming issue.

Regards,

Susan Foosan

Dear Julie,

Thank you for submitting to Journal X. Sadly, we will not be using any of your work for the upcoming issue. Please feel free to submit work again.

Regards,

Susan Foosan

Dear Julie,

Thank you for submitting to Journal X. A few of your pieces came very close, especially "Poem That Doesn't Suck." But in the end, we didn't feel they were right for our journal. Please feel free to submit work again.

Regards,

Susan Foosan

Dear Julie,

These poems are smiggish, morbled, and fufoed--which is both a plus and a minus. I don't want to turn them all down, but I don't feel they fit with our journal. If you have other poems lying around that are more bliburbtious, do send!

Regards,

Susan Foosan

(Apologies to all Susan Foosans everywhere.)

So, which (if any) meet your criteria for "personal"?

How about a print copy returned that has "Try again!" written across it in red ink? I haven't received something like that, but I know someone who has.

Am I making this too complicated?

Overheard in a restaurant

2008-05-12T10:19:00.001-04:00

"I can't make an appointment with him now. He's in jail."

My own personal demons

2008-05-11T23:52:00.002-04:00

It's bad when you have a panic attack while watching TV. I guess that's when you discover what you really fear, when seeing a fictionalized account is enough to make you put your head between your knees.

Heart surgery, by the way. Heart surgery "Supernatural" style, which means with extra goop and gore.

I think I need to lie down.

But Can William Blake Hit a Fastball?

2008-05-11T18:50:00.001-04:00

Tigers! Tigers! maladroit
In the city of Detroit,
What immortal hand or eye
Makes you so bad so suddenly?

THE BEEEP

2008-05-09T12:17:00.002-04:00

Here at work we have long been plagued by THE BEEP. The phone rings. You answer. There is no one on the other end. Just THE BEEP. You hang up. THE BEEP calls again. You hang up again. THE BEEP calls again.

You do *69 and discover that THE BEEP is coming from YOUR HOUSE!

Well, okay. Not exactly. But THE BEEP doesn't actually register as a real call on caller id or *69. So the result you get is whatever the last pre-BEEP call was.

For years we've had intermittent episodes of THE BEEP.

Today, I got an email notification that someone had left a message on my home voicemail.

THE BEEP has followed me home, like a mangy dog.

THE BEEP left three beeping voicemails, two minutes apart.

THE BEEP hates me, but I hate it more!

Playing LOTRO

2008-05-09T11:10:00.002-04:00

A few years back, Steve and I started playing City of Heroes. I enjoyed it, but we eventually fell away from it.

Now we're playing Lord of the Rings Online.

I really suck at this type of game. I never remember all the things I'm supposed to do in what sequence.

Our free trials will be up in a couple of days and I have no idea if we'll continue playing. But we might. Gimme a shout if you play, too. Perhaps we can meet up somewhere. Um. I say this after saying how bad I am at the game. *crickets*

This heah is a test post

2008-05-08T19:00:00.004-04:00

I hope this post will have the new comment system active on it.

I hope.

Um, feel free to comment if it does.

And, as always, feel free to comment if it doesn't!

If it's working, instead of being taken to a new window to comment, you should have a nice little comment box thingeroo open so you can see all previous comments and leave your own. Easily, I hope. I hope. I'm doing a lot of hoping.

Posts that didn't have comments when I switched will show the new style of comments. Posts that did have comments will show the normal Blogger style. Don't be alarmed!

And obviously my recent comments widget is a little confused. Still don't be alarmed! I have a stout cudgel and plan to beat it until it cries.

New template

2008-05-08T12:02:00.001-04:00

That's probably fairly obvious.

I was tired of the old one. This one? Eh.

I'm hoping to add some interesting comment functionality soonish. Right now, your comments are probably missing. They haven't been deleted! I don't like doing comment moderation, but when I take the moderation off I'm getting spammed, so I'm trying something new. I hope.

snerk

2008-05-07T09:33:00.001-04:00

Bert or Bertram?

2008-05-06T23:30:00.003-04:00

With all the sad news, I forgot to share a bit of good news from the Carter household.

We have a new resident in the house, though it can be hard to tell. That's because our newcomer is a dead ringer for one of the other current residents.

Now it's time for: Bert or Bertram?

One of these is our Albert, who has been with us for nearly 10 years. The other is the newcomer Bertram. I have a feeling that if we aren't very careful to label our photographs, we'll end up with trouble telling them apart, but in person it's easy: Albert is twice Bertram's size.

(The upper photo is Bertram, the lower is Albert.)

Monday Morning Baseball Post written Tuesday Afternoon

2008-05-06T15:40:00.002-04:00

The Indians kinda suck. It's only the drastic suck of the rest of the AL Central that's keeping the boys in the running, but even their wonderful pitching can't actually win games.

They've DFA'd Jason Michaels, and I know lots of people will rejoice. But Michaels isn't the problem. He wasn't helping, sure, but he wasn't the problem.

How much does a hitting coach matter? It feels like the Indians are going to find out soon. The team philosophy is heavy on OBP and slugging, and the players simply aren't getting on base or slugging worth a damn. Something's gotta give.

I'm still watching.

Kind of a neat site for readniks

2008-05-06T14:43:00.001-04:00

Distributed Proofreading needs help proofing pages of OCR text before the books are uploaded to Project Gutenberg. Neat.

I am still here, just struggling

2008-05-06T13:51:00.002-04:00

Nothing much is going right this spring. But I'm still around.

Our cat Irving died yesterday afternoon after a long struggle with renal failure. She was precious to me.

If you're a fan of sonnets

2008-05-02T13:32:00.002-04:00

Rose Kelleher is hosting a sonnet quasi-contest over at Eratosphere.

Richard Wilbur will be weighing in on some sonnets, Rose on others. It's always interesting, and Rose is one of my favorite people (and poets!) in the world, so go check it out.

A couple of years ago, one of my sonnets was chosen. The initial posts are anonymous (though I know who wrote "Fist." Neener!) so the discussion is impersonal. Quite nice.

As per usual, I disagree with EVERYONE!

2008-05-01T17:05:00.002-04:00

And, again, that's not because I'm neat. It's because I'm weird.

Another debate about poetry boards is here. The horrific italicized font may keep you from reading it. I won't blame you.

Life sucks today

2008-05-01T12:37:00.002-04:00

Not much I can add to that.

The Medicare prescription drug coverage was designed to fail, and it's failing us right on schedule.

New poetic forms

2008-04-29T12:30:00.003-04:00

A few years back I invented (or I think I did) the julain: A three-line poem of a set meter with the rhyme scheme xaa.

I have seen double julains of abb acc. And I've seen double julains of xaa xbb.

Today, I saw that someone on pffa had invented the julainnelle, a villanelle variation that uses julains for the individual stanzas: AbB baA abB bbA abB abAB. I actually think it works better than "regular" villanelles.

How about the julainnet? xaa xbb xcc xdd ee, or perhaps abb acc dee dff gg?

I think that has real possibilities.

Monday Morning Baseball Post

2008-04-28T13:21:00.002-04:00

So it's afternoon. Sue me.

It worked! I put the reverse-whammy on the team by trash talking them. Woo!

CC's back to pitching extremely well, and he has cut his ERA nearly in half. The pitching looks good. The hitting? Eh.

Grady Sizemore missed the game yesterday, ending his consecutive games streak at something over 300. I'm a believer in days off, no matter what the vocation.

The Indians have played Boston and New York from the AL East. Boston looked good. NY looks exceptionally mediocre. I'm desperately hoping another team can challenge them in the East.

The AL Central is a bad division, to date. Will 85 wins take it? 87, as in '97? I begin to think so. The Indians have the pitching to contend, but are burdened with some of the most erratic hitting I've ever seen.

Though no amount of data will convince me that Hafner looks as bad as he did last year. I see something positive there. I'm likely delusional, but I see it! I do!!

If you're a pffa member

2008-04-28T12:56:00.000-04:00

We're doing an anthology. Check it out.

You know how in horror movies

2008-04-28T12:46:00.003-04:00

The lights will flicker when there's something EVIL approaching?

My office lights keep doing that.

I'm afraid I might be the something EVIL.

A number of years ago, I walked up to the market and bought something and the total bill was $6.66. I thought that was amusing and told my brother. He suggested a short story in which the main character learns she is the child of satan because cash registers always ring up at $6.66.

"That's funny," the cashier said. "Each of the items is more than six dollars, but the register says they total $6.66."

"I get that a lot," Beelzebubbette said. "Maybe I'll just take one."

Birthday split

2008-04-24T21:10:00.002-04:00

Instead of cake, I had a birthday banana split.

I think the banana split is pretty good, but could use some refining.

I'm thinking cherry topping instead of chocolate for one of the little mountains.

And there should be pistachios involved somewhere. Add a little salty to the sweet.

Hot diggity.

My joints are spreading a rumor that I'm OLD. I have been unable to convince them otherwise. I need a Snopes page.

Too dorky even for me!

2008-04-22T20:18:00.003-04:00

Kansas City has a pitcher named Gil Meche (pronounce Mesh). Steve just called him Gilgamesh.

I said, "I hope Travis Hafner goes all Enkidu on his ass!"

And then I was embarrassed by my own dorkiness.