A tempting challenge or a waste of time?

Duotrope has a list of markets who have no acceptances on file.

The most submissions without an acceptance is 150, for jubilat.

Do you see a list like that and think, "Aha! A challenge!" or do you think "Moving on, now. Not wasting my time there"?


ETA: Hey! I'm in one of those mags. Now I feel all special and glowy.

Frustrated with Poetry Crossroads

(Why did I name it Poetry Crossroads when I always want to type "Poetry Crossing"?)

In any case, people still can't join and there has been no word whatsoever from the so called "support" for the forum.

I could move it to another host. That's kind of a pain considering how many links I left various places, though it's probably easier to move it now than to wait until there's real activity.

Bah.

Humbug.

NaPoReMo DoSiDo

I can't buy a book before June, but I'm getting Mark Strand's "Man and Camel" from the library. I would have preferred something from 2008 and from a poet no one has heard of, but I won't be near a book store for ages and I've already read all the poetry books I've got.

I plan on downloading Jilly Dybka's "Trouble And Honey" as well, but I don't know if Jilly wants to be blogged about incessantly!

A note on fonts

I just read a book that used an unusual font, a sans-serif one like this in an overly large size.

It made the book very hard to read. I wouldn't have thought it would make that big a deal, but it did. It didn't help that it wasn't a particularly good book to begin with, but it's interesting to feel the effects of font selection on my reading attitude.

Online, fonts don't matter all that much to me, but in print, they matter. A lot.

Poetry Crossroads having some software issues

I hope it's just temporary. They claim to be doing some upgrades, so Poetry Crossroads is very wonky right now.

Many thanks to the people who have dropped me notes about it. It's helping me to know how extensive (VERY!) the problems are.

So, joining the Crossroads is impossible right now. On occasion, seeing the Crossroads is impossible! Eek!

NaPoReMo in June

PFFA is starting a new tradition: NaPoReMo, National Poetry Reading Month.

Buy a book of poetry by a poet you're unfamiliar with.

Spend the month reading and doing daily posts about the poems.

I love this idea but probably can't buy a book in time to play along. I live on the back end of beyond.

Zagnut thief!

I left a Zagnut on my desk. I was saving it.

Bertram ate it.

What cat likes peanut butter and coconut? That fuzzy head is filled with weird.

Take a green Froot Loop, dunk it in salt water...

Smoosh it onto a salty corn chip, and you have the new Doritos mystery flavor.

I think it's supposed to be a margarita. It's horrifying.

Dragging today

We went to a double feature at the drive in last night: Indiana Jones and Iron Man.

Lots of fun. Iron Man is a better movie, but holy smokes it was late when we got home.

I can hardly keep my eyes open.

Do you remember?

If you see a poet's name, do you immediately remember what sort of work they write?

Or, like me, do you have general ideas of "Oh, I like her" or "He's had some really good work"?

I ask because I was thinking about metrical poetry the other day and a couple of names came to mind but I couldn't remember if they wrote formal work or not. Why can't I remember? Is it a distinction my brain has no interest in?

Suspicious minds

Eratosphere goes down again after people start talking about a certain neo-Nazi. Coincidence?

When does "limited to" become "limited by"?

There are lots of poetry journals and contests that limit submissions in some way. Women only, or formal/free verse work only, or only sonnets, or only poems about nature.

I've come to terms with most of these. I've submitted work to "Mezzo Cammin" (though my submission was never acknowledged in any way, despite queries). I'm planning on sending work to "Unsplendid." I'm not completely thrilled with the limits, but I can live with them.

But when I saw that one journal will only accept subs from people who are students, alumns, or faculty of graduate writing programs, I became immediately depressed. And my reaction probably isn't fair.

Am I daunted just because that knocks me out of the running? I can't say absolutely not, but I don't think so. They weren't a journal I was planning to submit to, and I think their policy is unusual enough that it doesn't affect me.

What, then? Does this policy show:

1. fear: We are afraid the non-MFA writers might outcompete the MFAs. (Not likely)

2. bias: We don't like non-MFAs.

3. cynicism/realism: We won't end up publishing anything not written by an MFA anyway, so why waste our time?

4. promotion: Look what MFAs can do!

5. or just special attention/dedicated facilities: MFA writers wouldn't have their own dedicated forum without us.

I'm not okay with reason 1, completely okay with reasons 4 and 5, and on the fence with reasons 2 and 3. 2, 3, and 4 are the reasons that strike me as most likely. (1 is crazy the way only I can think of and 5 is usually the reasoning for more discriminated-against groups).

So, you have your MFA. Would you submit work there?

(Also posted to Poetry Crossroads, if you'd rather participate there.)

Fabulous poem

Kathleen Rooney is the current featured poet at Anti-, and her poem "Midwestern Groom: Dream no. 2" knocks my socks off.

Give it a read.

The Anti-Julie

I've joined the editorial team at Anti- as an assistant editor. It's great to be able to work for a journal I admire so much.

The julainnet

In April I commented on the invention of the julainnelle and suggested that a julainnet would be a neat form.

Someone has definitely proved the form has promise here.

I'm taken with it.

Poetic mimicry

Nic on Very Like a Whale linked to an interesting take at Harriet on attempting to sound like other writers.

My reply on Harriet:

I never thought of it in terms of karaoke, but you're right. It's a good comparison.

Only by trying what someone else does do you discover how hard (or easy) it is to do. You get to hear what you sound like when you employ the same tricks, since you won't sound like the original no matter how you try.

Tomorrow I may disagree with this, but today? I'm all over it.

Poetry Crossroads update

Poetry Crossroads is growing, slowly.

I've been adding a few forums to allow people to post and find information easily.

If anyone has suggestions, let me know. Up to and including telling me to jump in a lake--proverbial or otherwise.

If you have a magazine or read one or subscribe to one or submit to one, you have something to say to the rest of us.

If you've been accepted or rejected or befuddled or are otherwise thinking about publication, you have something to say.

If you've read a poem in your LIFE, you have something to say.

So come say it!

On the lighter side

Poetry: The Hits

Xanadu!
Kubla Khan!
Take drugs much?

***

Death
AND Immortality?
Not much footroom.

***

Wow,
that's a
ton of ships.

Achilles
versus Hector.
The crybaby won.

Vietnam
with swords
and giant horses.

***

She'll
forget you.
But not yet.

***

Mouse
or man.
Life likes surprises.

***

Donne
offers candy
from his van.

***

Lippo
sounds like
awful plastic surgery.

Monks
visit hookers
then talk forever.

***

Goblins
say "Buy."
That ain't fruit.

***

Chickens.
Red wheelbarrow.
Something about Depends.

Poetry Crossroads

I've started a forum just for poetry news and discussion. It will allow poets and editors to announce their projects or publications, call for submissions, and talk about poetry: Poetry Crossroads

It is not a poetry workshop. At all. None. Nada. Everything else poetry-related is fair game.

So, announce something. Advertise your board. Bitch about a magazine. Praise an editor. Promote your blog. Share your database of journals.

Just don't post your poems or I'll zap 'em.

And I kick puppies, too!

One of the posts that gets a lot of hits long after I posted it is titled "No rhyming poems please."

The latest comment is a tad on the bizarre side if it's addressed to me.

Though I really don't like Kipling. I'll admit to that one. And I can't claim to have read many rhyming poems by Robert Browning, though I may be blocking them out after my bad run ins with Fra' Lippo Lippi. The bastard.

More Bertram

Because he's sitting on my desk and I had my camera.

What do you want from a critique?

More discussion going on at Gazebo about critiquing, which makes me wonder: What do you really want from a critique?

For me, I just want to know if it's working. Honestly, I don't even usually care why or why not.

What do I not want? Well, something that drives me crazy is a long, detailed, blow-by-blow critique that makes a wrong assumption from the outset, meaning the person went to a lot of trouble for nothing. This doesn't happen often, but I've seen it a few times. There's nothing you can say at that point, as the poet, to make it better. All you can do is say "Thanks!" or "Actually, this isn't about the Russian Revolution, so the 15,000 word essay you just wrote doesn't really apply. It was nice reading it, though!"

On one very small board I frequent, I love the give-and-take of poet and critter. It allows the discussion to move gradually while each issue is hammered out. That's probably not possible on a larger board, but it's my ideal. I can say a lot of things about a poem, but if I've got hold of the wrong end of the stick from the get-go, the things I say aren't going to be useful.

So, what are you looking for?

Blackbird reading loop

Sandra Beasley and Jehanne Dubrow are both featured in Blackbird's Introductions. I haven't had a chance to take a look yet, but both of these women have produced excellent work in the past. Check it out!

What counts as a "personal rejection"?

On Duotrope, if you get a poem rejected, they want to know what sort of rejection. Was it form? Was it personal?

Steven Schroeder has a post on his blog that talks about form and personal rejections, too, which is what got me thinking about this today.

My problem is that I'm not entirely sure what these terms mean. I mean, I know what a form letter is. But at what point does a rejection make the switch over to "personal"?

If it's not cut and pasted, but doesn't actually have any specific reference to your work, is it form? If it's addressed to "Dear (your name)" does that make it personal? If it encourages you to submit again?

Examples culled from rejections I have received:

Poet,

We will not be publishing any of the submitted poems.

The Editors

Dear Julie,

Thank you for submitting to Journal X. Sadly, we will not be using any of your work for the upcoming issue.

Regards,

Susan Foosan

Dear Julie,

Thank you for submitting to Journal X. Sadly, we will not be using any of your work for the upcoming issue. Please feel free to submit work again.

Regards,

Susan Foosan

Dear Julie,

Thank you for submitting to Journal X. A few of your pieces came very close, especially "Poem That Doesn't Suck." But in the end, we didn't feel they were right for our journal. Please feel free to submit work again.

Regards,

Susan Foosan

Dear Julie,

These poems are smiggish, morbled, and fufoed--which is both a plus and a minus. I don't want to turn them all down, but I don't feel they fit with our journal. If you have other poems lying around that are more bliburbtious, do send!

Regards,

Susan Foosan

(Apologies to all Susan Foosans everywhere.)


So, which (if any) meet your criteria for "personal"?

How about a print copy returned that has "Try again!" written across it in red ink? I haven't received something like that, but I know someone who has.

Am I making this too complicated?

Overheard in a restaurant

"I can't make an appointment with him now. He's in jail."

My own personal demons

It's bad when you have a panic attack while watching TV. I guess that's when you discover what you really fear, when seeing a fictionalized account is enough to make you put your head between your knees.

Heart surgery, by the way. Heart surgery "Supernatural" style, which means with extra goop and gore.

I think I need to lie down.

But Can William Blake Hit a Fastball?

Tigers! Tigers! maladroit
In the city of Detroit,
What immortal hand or eye
Makes you so bad so suddenly?

THE BEEEP

Here at work we have long been plagued by THE BEEP. The phone rings. You answer. There is no one on the other end. Just THE BEEP. You hang up. THE BEEP calls again. You hang up again. THE BEEP calls again.

You do *69 and discover that THE BEEP is coming from YOUR HOUSE!

Well, okay. Not exactly. But THE BEEP doesn't actually register as a real call on caller id or *69. So the result you get is whatever the last pre-BEEP call was.

For years we've had intermittent episodes of THE BEEP.

Today, I got an email notification that someone had left a message on my home voicemail.

THE BEEP has followed me home, like a mangy dog.

THE BEEP left three beeping voicemails, two minutes apart.

THE BEEP hates me, but I hate it more!

Playing LOTRO

A few years back, Steve and I started playing City of Heroes. I enjoyed it, but we eventually fell away from it.

Now we're playing Lord of the Rings Online.

I really suck at this type of game. I never remember all the things I'm supposed to do in what sequence.

Our free trials will be up in a couple of days and I have no idea if we'll continue playing. But we might. Gimme a shout if you play, too. Perhaps we can meet up somewhere. Um. I say this after saying how bad I am at the game. *crickets*

This heah is a test post

I hope this post will have the new comment system active on it.

I hope.

Um, feel free to comment if it does.

And, as always, feel free to comment if it doesn't!

If it's working, instead of being taken to a new window to comment, you should have a nice little comment box thingeroo open so you can see all previous comments and leave your own. Easily, I hope. I hope. I'm doing a lot of hoping.

Posts that didn't have comments when I switched will show the new style of comments. Posts that did have comments will show the normal Blogger style. Don't be alarmed!

And obviously my recent comments widget is a little confused. Still don't be alarmed! I have a stout cudgel and plan to beat it until it cries.

New template

That's probably fairly obvious.

I was tired of the old one. This one? Eh.

I'm hoping to add some interesting comment functionality soonish. Right now, your comments are probably missing. They haven't been deleted! I don't like doing comment moderation, but when I take the moderation off I'm getting spammed, so I'm trying something new. I hope.

snerk

Bert or Bertram?

With all the sad news, I forgot to share a bit of good news from the Carter household.

We have a new resident in the house, though it can be hard to tell. That's because our newcomer is a dead ringer for one of the other current residents.

Now it's time for: Bert or Bertram?





One of these is our Albert, who has been with us for nearly 10 years. The other is the newcomer Bertram. I have a feeling that if we aren't very careful to label our photographs, we'll end up with trouble telling them apart, but in person it's easy: Albert is twice Bertram's size.

(The upper photo is Bertram, the lower is Albert.)

Monday Morning Baseball Post written Tuesday Afternoon

The Indians kinda suck. It's only the drastic suck of the rest of the AL Central that's keeping the boys in the running, but even their wonderful pitching can't actually win games.

They've DFA'd Jason Michaels, and I know lots of people will rejoice. But Michaels isn't the problem. He wasn't helping, sure, but he wasn't the problem.

How much does a hitting coach matter? It feels like the Indians are going to find out soon. The team philosophy is heavy on OBP and slugging, and the players simply aren't getting on base or slugging worth a damn. Something's gotta give.

I'm still watching.

Kind of a neat site for readniks

Distributed Proofreading needs help proofing pages of OCR text before the books are uploaded to Project Gutenberg. Neat.

I am still here, just struggling

Nothing much is going right this spring. But I'm still around.

Our cat Irving died yesterday afternoon after a long struggle with renal failure. She was precious to me.

If you're a fan of sonnets

Rose Kelleher is hosting a sonnet quasi-contest over at Eratosphere.

Richard Wilbur will be weighing in on some sonnets, Rose on others. It's always interesting, and Rose is one of my favorite people (and poets!) in the world, so go check it out.

A couple of years ago, one of my sonnets was chosen. The initial posts are anonymous (though I know who wrote "Fist." Neener!) so the discussion is impersonal. Quite nice.

As per usual, I disagree with EVERYONE!

And, again, that's not because I'm neat. It's because I'm weird.

Another debate about poetry boards is here. The horrific italicized font may keep you from reading it. I won't blame you.

Life sucks today

Not much I can add to that.

The Medicare prescription drug coverage was designed to fail, and it's failing us right on schedule.