Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)

You haven't actually done me wrong, but I am gone, gone, gone to another blog, blog, blog.

Gone gone gone (Done moved on)

Please toddle along to my new space.

I'm moving out

I have a new, shiny, internet home: http://www.juliecarter.net

Do you sometimes get the feeling...

... certain words don't mean the same thing to you as they do to others? Case in point, the web link to the "Vatican Secret Archive."

Because the first thing I do when I have a secret archive is link to it.

Linebreak

I don't have a poem up at Linebreak, but I was the reader for the poem this week.

It's a neat pub, so go look.

Rise and shine and shoot me with gunsie, gunsies!

My childhood was marred by a song. The rise and shine song.

My parents thought it was hilarious to wake their children with the rise and shine song.

As the years passed, the song has become something of a family legend, and each subsequent generation is again tormented with it.

A couple of days ago, my niece sent me an email with a lyric from the song in the title. I've been singing it ever since.

And in the spirit of giving, I sang the song to a coworker who has also been singing it ever since.

Behold, it is "Rise and Shine":

Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory
Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory
Rise and shine and *clap* give God the glory, glory
Children of the Lord!

God said to Noah there will be a floody, floody
God said to Noah there will be a floody, floody
Keep your children *clap* out of the muddy, muddy
Children of the Lord!

Then God ordered Noah to build him an arky, arky
God ordered Noah to build him an arky, arky
Build it out of *clap* hickory barky, barky
Children of the Lord!

Look it up. Hear the melody. You, too, will be caught in its spell.

You know you're hooked on a salad dressing when...

... you buy it by the case.

I can't heeellllp it! For some reason, Marzetti's Fat Free Italian Dressing isn't available locally any longer. So I'm going straight to the source of this veritable crack of salad dressings.

My problem is I don't like sweet dressings and I don't like oily dressings. Which leaves me with Marzetti or air. And air is boring.

Two great tastes that taste great together!

People should be hooked to batteries that recharge with any leftover energy after they eat.

Thereby providing a green energy source and weight management all in one!

"Honey, I need an empty battery. I'm going to eat a pie."

I'm apparently feeling self-destructive today

We're having a bit of a fruitfly problem on occasion. I think maybe we need to put the apples in the fridge.

I felt something on my hand, glanced and saw a dark spot, then smacked my hand. WHAM! OW! CRAP!

The dark spot was a scab. I was out pruning the rose bushes earlier today, and roses like to prune back.

Fortunately, Steve wasn't in the room.

Unfortunately, I felt the need to share my awesome stupidity with him and with YOU!

The Mystery of the Missing Bed

The drama continues. It isn't anywhere, yet it has to be somewhere.

Bed pixies? Magical wood-dissolving powder? Really big termites with a taste for footboards?

I've angered a furniture god.

Some people lose keys or socks

I've lost a BED.

It's not like I have a house with 394 rooms and hidden passages and people named Lurch who might enjoy hiding a bed behind the secret staircase or something!

In my defense, the bed isn't assembled. Losing an assembled bed would be slightly worse.

Still, how does one say to one's sister, "O sister, I would like to return the bed unto you but, um, I lost it"?

She already thinks I'm deeply troubled. O sister, you are so, so right.

It's the GOP one-armed bandito!

So far, I'm at $212. Vegas fears me!


Edit: Right after I posted, I hit spin again and am now at $231. FEAR!

Edit2: And right after I edited, I hit spin again and am now at $390. Bow before me!

Edit3: Um, $401. Even I fear me and my mad skillz.

If you have Firefox

... get the Interclue add-on. It simply rocks. Youbetcha.

Fatigue and Poetry Crossroads

I've not been online in the past couple of weeks as much as usual, so I haven't been doing any updates to the Crossroads. Unfortunately, neither has anyone else except attempted Bulgarian spammers. I'm afraid this idea is either before, or after, its time.

So, I'm probably shutting it down. It's not doing anyone any good as it is, and keeping the spammers off is just a pain. If I were in a better mood, I might have a different reaction but I'm not.

Speaking of Bulgarian spammers: Jeez Louise those people are stupid.

Bertram is murmuring

We adopted Bertram the Very Fuzzy Cat hoping that we could end our long streak of nothing-but-bad-news.

Instead, we are told that Bertram has a significant heart murmur. It could be nothing serious, or it could be a sign of something very bad like hypertrophic cardiomyopathy--a disease we've already dealt with in one cat.

Suck.

But what does it MEAN?

I have no IDEA.

Someone's auto-correct is a wee bit embarrassing

"Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials."

Tyson Homosexual, that is.

Clever for its own sake

One of the things I tend to dislike so intensely about "light" verse is its sense that the writer is being clever for the sake of being clever.

Which means that it's just about the worst thing someone can say to me about my own poetry.

And then someone did.

Ouch.

I'll be in the corner, licking my wounds.

Gotta new widget

A stranger invited me to join Adoptic. It's a site for blog promotion and what can I say? I'm a joiner.

Look over to the left for a snippet from someone else's blog. Maybe someday they will create a poetry section for poet bloggers.

I don't care if it makes me a dork

Wall-E is the cutest thing ever. EVER.

The storm

An extremely loud storm hit last night, keeping me awake for hours. As it was winding down, Steve discovered that his blood sugar was dangerously low, so we sat up and listened to the storm while Steve ate saltwater taffy and checked his blood glucose at intervals.

We live fun and exciting lives and don't you forget it!

I think I scared the coworkers

My laughter rang through the halls when I saw this.

Check out the picture in the middle.

One of my coworkers usually ends up in Wal-Mart only after going to church. She's obviously raising the tone there like CRAZY.

How do I love Chase? Let me count the ways

Chase took two car payments from my bank account instead of one, and when I complained, they disabled my ability to do anything with my bank account online.

Thanks, Chase. This is a plan that is sure to make me love you and want desperately to give you money.

Nearing the end of stage 2

The Carter fambly is now within $400 of being out of the Medicare Part D doughnut hole. If you don't know what the doughnut hole is, do yourself a favor and read about it.

Steve and I have been able to afford this gap in his coverage, but how many seniors and disabled people can say the same?

The "True Out of Pocket" limit for this year is $4050.

Hold this government accountable.

The car, the car, the car

Someone broke into my car last night. I don't know that anything is missing, but the door was open this morning. Everything was spilled from the glovebox and the console door wouldn't close.

Never let anyone tell you nice things about small towns. Never.

Political humor in unexpected places

Steve and I were playing Lord of the Rings Online last night and we got a quest to kill some monsters. I said, "You wanna help me kill some ugly wights?"

Suddenly, I could picture a video of Michelle Obama playing an MMORPG saying the same thing and it being plastered all over Fox News.

The difficulty in writing poetry reviews

I'm tempted by a site that offers poetry books for review. It would be a good way, I think, to force me to produce a review, if it were a condition of receiving the book.

But what to do, what to do, if the book is a stinker? What if, for example, the book had been Mark Strand's Man and Camel that I was struggling to comment on for NaPoReMo (not a stinker, but not to my taste, either)? Mark Strand doesn't care what I think, but a younger, less-established poet certainly might.

Even doing WEE reviews, I'd occasionally hurt feelings. Not liking, and saying I didn't like, a single poem was enough to cause a ripple of reaction a couple of times in the blogosphere. Part of me says tough. Poets who can't take a bad review are too precious to publish anything. Another part of me understands that with all of the poetry out there in the world it should be possible only to review the good stuff. And a third part wants to sleep in and let other people worry about it.

The cry of the intellectually lazy: It's not my problem!

In any case, if you like reviewing books of poetry, check out this link to the Experimental Fiction & Poetry Reviews blog. Score a free book. Write a good review. Make the poetry world one increment better.

Firefox 3 is made of wonder

Like "I wonder how I survived without Firefox 3."